Oblivious Dissemination

I recently was going through notebooks and journals from my past 22 years and here are some things I found

1. All words have been spoken, but not all have been sung

2. How long does a body need to be buried until it becomes an archeological find? Grave robbing is okay after how many years?

3. Vacation

The sound of relaxation

Diamonds on the water

Total peace within

No agenda or plans

Pure thoughts echo in the mind

Love defined by saying nothing

Joy without distraction

Connection with earth

Watching the wind blow

All is as it should

4. I’m such a control freak, I’ll be a pallbearer at my own funeral

5. The path

I know many people, none all that well

I am respected by many & loved by a few

Only I know who I truly am

My journey sends me looking for why

6. He hesitates, he waits, no urgency in life, doors are open that he does not enter. Responsibilities are mountains, the weight is heavy and life a struggle as this is what he knows. Does he love himself? He would exclaim it so. He could learn, he had a chance but he now must find his own way. We pray he does

7. How can someone love me so much, so deeply, so unconditionally? This scares me!

8. She carries a lot of baggage for a flight to nowhere

9. Shadows

I’ve got something in me trying to get out

Can’t tell what it is, my minds full of doubt

Searching and thinking that sometimes it’s near

I push it away when it feels that it’s here

I’ve tried to find it with laughter and beer

A strange thing it is being controlled by the fear

10. No fine print, no hidden fee, what you are getting is 100% me

11. Our mission statement: For you to enjoy giving us money

12. Karmasaurus

Dinosaurs are extinct and there are varied theories as to why. What catastrophe put an end to them and made that era some 65 million years ago vanish? Man evolves and discovers that fossil fuels that came from this era could be used for energy, electricity, gasoline and billions of plastic products. Now man depends on dinosaurs and fossils to live. The entire human race exists due to the things that are generated from this extinct era. Man then learns that what has and is being produced from these fossils could ultimately make him extinct as the byproducts are slowly destroying Earth’s environment and all life on it. Is this deja vu 65 million years in the making? Does history repeat? Will man one day be the fuel for another inhabitant?

13. Truth In Advertising

Is your life being presented to you by a pill

Do you have side airbags

Should you challenge the call

Can you retire in peace

No payment no interest

Don’t miss next weeks…

Natural and artificial ingredients

The war on terror is brought to you by Dove

14. Kodak Moments

You can’t tell by the pictures the psyche of those framed and matted. Nowhere are demons or struggles that are inside all humans, they smile for the camera, is that real or is it ego? Preserved on display then boxed up and stored…..does the camera lie

15. David

I look out his window and think of all the sunrises he’s seen. God is ready to take him for even a grander view. He’s holding on for what I can’t say. Is there unfinished business he’s taking care of first, heaven was here and now it is there. Thank you my friend

16. Environ-meant

All during the Winter you hear those cries for warmer days ahead. 5 months later when Summer arrives they sit in their cars sealed tightly. So what is it they want, what weather are they searching for? Trapped inside their climate controlled personal cocoons not letting the butterflies roam free. It saddens me to see so many whom cry for better days while trapping themselves in a controlled environment shutting out nature, the nature they seemingly wanted. The closest to nature they come are the names on their giant SUV’s boasting rugged wonders like the Yukon, Tahoe and Sedona. Is there a weirder oxymoron than that? The vehicles that destroy more of this planet are named after areas of beauty and nature, Ironic for sure!

17. Addictive thinking

This is a nice place but I wonder if another would be better

I want to relax and do nothing, so what should I do now

18. Despair

Talking is a dagger

it cuts into the skin

honesty is a gun

it blows off one’s head

change is a venom

it stings then it kills

the answer is so obvious

why does it hurt?

19. GPS

You came and you left

you were here all the time

thinking I was smart was my big crime

20. I never liked love songs until I met you. It took me a while to turn the volume down

21. Time

I know your intentions were not to be bad,

I love you a lot which makes this more sad,

too much stress and an unbalanced life

will only cause trouble, upset and strife,

let’s take a break and then time it will tell,

if it’s meant to be then all will be well

22. Awareness

The clouds don’t care what day it is

the wind doesn’t know your name

the lines on the road have stories to tell

the jaywalker feels no shame

23. Goodbye Stranger

As I sit here on a plane up in the sky

I look outside and I wonder why

I’m now going to visit the guy

Who ruined my life and to watch him die

Now that he’s dying and there nears an end

I now wonder what would become of amends

One less person known family or friend

we could have been more if he only did comprehend

my parents are now gone and they say oh how sad

It’s a shame that you’ve lost mom and now your dad

I say not to worry things aren’t so bad

for little they know he wasn’t a dad

24. Back Alone

Back alone sad and quiet

starving but not on a diet

just can’t seem to see

the who the what is me

love my kids that is real

wish they knew I can feel

white flag waving high

no real hope still I don’t cry

sit around feeling doubt

sense no love God help me out

sun is hot it’s Fall today

wish a hug would come my way

grass grows and birds sail by

back alone and wonder why

25. Coming soon

Things I wish I already have

my brain stops me

so close so empty

logic, sense, feelings

alien all my life

it will happen

fill my bag

enjoy me

26. Can

Can an adult be a child

Can a father be a boy

Can fun be serious

Can sense be uncommon

27. Surrender

When you don’t stop to feel

life can be no big deal

Listen close to what I say

It will catch you hard one day

you can laugh have fun and grin

having no feelings is quite a sin

if it’s all about your family

trust me one day I will see

28. broken clock

Time never taken

What I might had

Movies never watched

Time Never taken

Intentions are swell

Guess I was wrong

father or dad

Time never taken

29. Fuck This Shit

Here’s what I feel- does that scare you to death

Here’s what I feel How astounded you must be

Here’s what I feel -it once seemed so right

Here’s what I feel -things are quite bad

Here’s what I feel- I try to see why

Here’s what I feel- I tried to force good

Here’s what I feel- it’s time to face facts

Here’s what I feel – thought it would last

Here’s what I feel- I really don’t know

30. Heaviest thing ever in my life

Don’t look at me that way

You don’t believe the things that you say

Tomorrows another day

So don’t look at me that way

Don’t look at me so mad

Don’t you know that I am your dad

You’re one of the best things I’ve ever had

So don’t look at me so mad

This I will remember, that anger, that look

The day the cops came even though you’re no crook

That morning my heart, my love I wish that you took

Yes I’ll truly remember that hurt and that look

So please don’t look at me that way

Tomorrow will be another day

There are so many things I wish to say

So please don’t look at me that way

31. Safety First

Exits never taken rest stops never seen

Along the journey to being happier than I’ve ever been

The life jacket is off, the parachute packed away

Think I’ll let love protect me on this day

32. Song

I’ve seen that cloud before, rolling thru the sky

you said you will always love me, told me that’s no lie

I’ve seen that cloud before, but this times that’s ok

No rain will fall from it, no need for tears today

chorus: Storms will come and they will go, a fact of life I see

The sun is there it never leaves, I have peace and now I’m free

I’ve seen that cloud before this time it will not last

The wind will clear the sky above all the rain has past

I’ve seen that cloud before but never in such a way

My heart is open now, I can enjoy this and every day

chorus

33. 47+364

The day is now over as I sit here and think

Another day gone with no thought of a drink

Perched in my chair as I contemplate

One day away from year number 48

The day is now over but now my life’s begun

Guess I had to lose all to see that I had won

A lot of good stuff lies ahead and is in store

Sometimes it takes 47 plus 364

34. Daddy daughter dance

My daughter loves me, she shows it with spite

Can I always be wrong, will I ever be right

My daughter loves me but doesn’t show it too well

Loves me with words that put me through hell

My daughter loves me I know this is true

Time will heal the pain and our love will re-new

35. Love song 3 Million plus 1

There’s been 3 million love songs yes it is true

None did I notice until I first met you

3 million love songs of love and of dreams

Thought I’d never have or or so it did seem

Everywhere I went I’d hear them each day

They meant nothing to me until you came my way

Sure some were catchy and some would make me smile

I’d sing along and hum them but only for a while

Now I have my love song playing in my ears

the song I always wanted after all these years

3 million loves songs now you can add one

I sing it each day for my heart you have won

36. Cranium not used

What’s on my mind should come out of my behind

What’s in my brain should be tossed down the drain

The things in my head I’d be pissed if you said

37. Another Round

Will I ever learn that things aren’t so bad

Will I ever learn that it’s not mom or my dad

I search for peace with all my might

Between my ears there is a fight

Not sure if I’ll ever see the sun

I’ll just sit here and crack open another one

38. The clock

Ambulance flies by and reminds me of the past

A time we struggled but did not last

The journey’s been amazing, the healing begun

We have grown so much, me and my son

Doubt still can linger, faith can be slow

But love has replaced so much as we grow

A new life is upon us, we have learned it so well

It’s been years since we tripped and we fell

More is awoken, a lot is so near

As long as I pray and turn over the fear

39. This is your brain on….

Most days I can barely cope

Why do you think they call it dope?

40. Partly Sunny/Cloudy

Challenges to distract have dried

Down the valley I slide more into

Alien life living alone, getting old

People exist most are happy, who are they

Confidence, short distractions are dying off

41. Dumb lyrics

I no longer yearn

I Kinda like David Byrne

I no longer care

The Earth was once rare

I no longer will

The fool on the hill

No longer do I try

Never liked Glen Frey

No longer have a smile

Been into music for a while